Wachu Wachu

Ever since we live in a Latin- American society, it is difficult for us, more than to any others, to understand how hard it is to speak another language. I am not writing about Japanese (an ancestral lingua), Portuguese (a bakery lingua), Russian (a vodka lingua), or Spanish itself (in a contradictory way, the most complex of all), I am referring to English. Wachu Wachu Wachu Wachu Wachu.

 Actually, this is not even a word, it is just the way people who do not handle any knowledge of English, refer to those who can do it. Wachu is phonetically, how non-speaker with a certain facility to ignore things, laugh about those who try to communicate with people from other parts of the world. In this special case, with “the Yankees”.

 Every time that, as Venezuelan, you say something orally in a code that the listener do not understand, it is the listener who says:

-Sorry, are you speaking to me…in Japanese or Chinese?

Probably, this is because we tend to mock about Asian people, since there is no grammar or phonetic relationship at all with Spanish language (apart that they all look alike). 

There was upon a time that, I was talking to a friend, a beautiful girl, native Spanish speaker and a classmate passed by. He told me something in English and, obviously, I replied the comment… IN ENGLISH!!!

As soon as I finished the little dialogue, I heard the beautiful girl laughing. I asked her:

-Hey, what happened? 

And she said… -Nothing, it is just hilarious listening to both of you wachu- wachu- wachu- wachu…

Honestly, I was stocked. Did I get mad? No. But made me realize about how powerful it is, to manage a “wachu wachu” code. What if we learn a third language? Super wachu- wachu- wachu mode? I do not know. But must be related to something like that. As a matter of fact, I do not consider Chinese or Japanese speakers saying something, with a listener not getting the message and, that listener saying:

-What did you say? Are you speaking to me…in Spanish or even Spanglish?

  Why do I think about this? Simple. “”Eagle does not hunt flies” (a silly/ powerful translation from the Spanish saying “Águila no caza mosca”)

Japanese people have many important things to do (I believe this) rather than wasting time making fun of their peers. They just say: -I am sorry, repeat once again, please.

Maybe it is the weather, the sun, the amount of people, I DO NOT KNOW! That they do not waste time as Latin people. Wachu Wachu Wachu Wachu…Let’s move on!

And what about the acquisition of a second language? In the case of English, now you are able to watch on T.V, this famous guy named “Wachu”, promoting an online- course of English, speaking and acting like if he were an “expert” speaking the English language.

From singing a stupid song “focused” on prepositions: -“The book is on the table, ta-ble, ta-ble. The book is-on-the-ta-ble”, until the not-understanding –at –all meaning of a sentence as “Make my day”. Turn into “Coman Mamey”. Phonetically, a possible relationship. Grammatically, Semantically, Pragmatically, Economically, Logically, any-other –LLY, like Dolly the Sheep, I do not know[1] : stupid. 

Because of this guy, people do not care about the power of being bilingual, rather than just thinking about “earning more money in the future by speaking English”,   getting married with a rich old guy from another English speaking country (in the case of female gender), getting married with a rich old lady (in the case of the male gender), it does not matter if she speaks Spanish: -Please GOD, send her!!!- Sorry about that, let me go back to the point…

  So, “wachu- wachu”, a reality that we, as bilingual people, must handle in our Venezuela. What should Japanese or Chinese people handle on the other side of the planet? Interesting question my friends…see you… wachu- wachu- wachu- wachu- wachu…

Reinaldo Martínez, 2015.

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[1] Bad joke of the day!